Where can the most obnoxious drunks be found? Apparently, it's not in the bleachers at Wrigley Field during Cubs games, but at any NFL stadium during any given game. Roger Goodell, the law-and-order commissioner, has ordered NFL teams to crack down on unruly fan behavior. And just to make sure everyone understands what is expected from them, the league issued a fan code of conduct.
''The NFL and its teams are committed to creating a safe, comfortable and enjoyable experience for all fans, both in the stadium and in the parking lot. ... When attending a game, you are required to refrain from the following behaviors:
- ''Behavior that is unruly, disruptive or illegal in nature.
- ''Intoxication or other signs of alcohol impairment that result in irresponsible behavior.
- ''Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures.
- ''Interference with the progress of the game, including throwing objects onto the field.
- ''Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel.
- ''Verbal or physical harassment of opposing team fans.''
And just so you understand the league is serious, the code of conduct provides: ''Stadium staff will promptly intervene to support an environment where event patrons, their guests and other fans can enjoy the event free from the above behavior. Event patrons and guests who violate these provisions will be subject to ejection without refund and loss of ticket privileges for future games.''
The code of conduct, then, basically amounts to a public-service announcement with penalties attached: Please drink responsibly -- or else. Was it really necessary for the league to codify this message?
What about beer partnership?
''The in-stadium experience is critically important to the NFL, our clubs and our fans, and it will be a major focus this season,'' Goodell said in a statement. ''We are committed to improve the fan experience in every way we can -- from the time fans arrive in the parking lot to when they depart the stadium. We want everyone to be able to come to our stadiums and enjoy the entire day.''
You might call Goodell hypocritical as you watch a Bears game from the ''Miller Lite Party Deck'' at Soldier Field. You might question his sincerity as you watch the umpteenth commercial for Coors, the NFL's official beer sponsor, during a game. You might argue that if Goodell really was concerned about fan behavior, he simply would ban alcohol sales during games and dissolve the NFL's beer partnership while he was at it.
But why bother? You know the commissioner's concern runs only so deep. It's likely that his prime motivation is to protect the NFL from legal liability. He knows that in the event someone is hurt in a drunken brawl, by a flying object or in a postgame traffic accident, the NFL's alcohol policy will come under even more scrutiny than it has already.
Goodell's edict prompted teams across the league to issue new rules for this season. The Bears, for instance, cracked down on tailgating and are encouraging fans to call security when they witness behavior that violates the code of conduct. I have a hunch this might be a really busy season for the Soldier Field security crew. (I hope booing doesn't count as foul or abusive language.)
As long as there's beer for sale, there always will be some misbehaving fans. But the code of conduct? It's overkill. Most fans don't throw bottles onto the field. Most fans don't get into brawls during games. Most fans don't drive home drunk. Most fans behave themselves. The code of conduct comes across as arrogant and insulting. A league that has no problem charging fans outrageous prices for tickets, merchandise, the NFL package and everything else imaginable now is telling them how they must act? Goodell simply could have advised teams to enforce their existing rules by policing the stands better.
We should turn the tables
Imagine if NFL fans followed Goodell's lead and issued the NFL a code of conduct.
''The NFL code of conduct is designed to set clear expectations and encourage the league to consider its fans' feelings. We are committed to experiencing an enjoyable NFL season. In order for us to do so, the league is required to refrain from the following:
- ''Making us pay top dollar for tickets to meaningless exhibition games.
- ''Employing players who have demonstrated irresponsible, disruptive or illegal behavior.
- ''Bombarding us with beer ads at stadiums and on TV, then admonishing us for drinking it.
- ''Interfering with our tailgating fun.
- ''Treating us as though we don't matter.
- ''Oh, yeah, and allowing the Bears to begin yet another season without a legitimate, proven quarterback or No. 1 wide receiver.
''And just so you understand that we're serious, please be advised that violations of the code of conduct will result in our refusing to purchase tickets for future games or watch future games on TV.''
I wonder how that would go over with the league.
Photo: Richard A. Chapman Sun-Times / Does this qualify as ''behavior that is unruly, disruptive or illegal in nature''? ;
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